Me as a mother
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what if the bumps around your nipples were actually braille and everyone had a different message like fortune cookies
when your armpit just won’t shut up
good things about autumn
- wearing layers
- everything has pumpkin flavor in it
- when u step on leaves and they do the crumpy thing
- mornings that are crisp and sweet and cold
- crackly fires
- the drop in temperature brings out an attractive natural flush
- did I mention pumpkins
- those eensy beensy ones
- u know the ones i mean
- autUMN, GUYS
what old joke are we going to bring back next
you forgot one
Coming to Tumblr to learn about things like this make it worth it.
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"Why do you want this job?"
Because under capitalism I am forced to sell my labor in order to subsist.
you’re the window to my wall
you’re the sweat that drips down my balls
i was in the car with my mum today and she stopped reversing and looks at me and was like “is that a hickey ??? On ur neck ?????? did a boy do that to u ????????? i thought u’d be alone forever on ur laptop.” the hickey was a bruise from where i accidentally shot myself in the neck with a nerf dart while trying 2 recreate a scene in star trek. my life is so pathetic even mum wants me 2 get some
stop reblogging this
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*mentioning internet friends to parents*
we went to school together before they moved away a couple years ago.. did i never mention them.. weird.. totally went to school together..
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restroom air dryers are a great way to warm your hands before wiping them on your jeans
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